Power comes to those who seek it

Money runs everything in this world. While it does not provide happiness by itself, it does make it easier to find it. I've had a million dollars in my mind for the last few weeks, but i haven't been outside to manifest it efficiently, although i do keep seeing Jame Randi's psychic challenge for 1 million dollars everywhere on the internet. I've been thinking about taking a shot at it, but i haven't mastered my abilities yet. Last night i had a dream i owned a mansion, and it made me feel great. Perhaps that's what i have to do to make my dreams come true. But to pass that test, i need to be able to control my abilities. Perhaps tonight, i find the key to them. Tonight i will dream about them. Tonight i will find out.Its pretty funny..using my dreams to reach my dreams. Life is wonderfully confusing. Life is great.

Reality is dull but stable

Im back to my "normal" state of mind. The world isn't so magical anymore. It's just land filled with living things. There are few secrets, and the possibilities of me finding them are slim. I'm a bit tired of manifesting things, perhaps i should just take a break and let fate surprise me. I'm feeling too physical..too attached to this reality. I'm not really sure if thats good or not. For one thing, i'm on my way to obtaining a stable adult life...im almost 18 and i feel more...grown up? More down-to-earth would be a better word.

There's still a child inside me aching to learn new things, but these range from world history to chemistry....lost are the days when ghosts and faeries danced in my mind... Maybe i'm just tired of being mislead.

I've tried to see them with my eyes, to feel them with my fingers or to hear them with my ears....but still they reside in my mind, and only in my mind...I'm thinking of finding a partner..just someone i can share my experiences with, but its hard finding someone who doesnt freak out when the subject is laid out in front of them...and to be honest i dont feel like spending my time to please someone else.

Oh did i mention i'm going back to west in a few days? I've been given a second chance at a better life. I'm not going to waste it for someone else this time. I will not sacrifice my happiness for others. I'll see him again though, but my bridge to him has been destroyed. He's just one of them now. We've met and now we must depart. The crossroads are behind us.