Too much of anything is bad for you

Its repetition. I cant stand it. I want change, constant change. Nothing drastic, just something new now and then. This explains so much. If my mind keeps doing the same thing over and over, i lose control. When i lose control, i become desperate, and when that happens i go into self-destruction mode. Doing everything and anything just to seek a shift in my reality. Skipping school, making up stories, saying random things to random people, running away, changing beliefs...everything i've done and said was just a desperate attempt at a new life. A more exciting life. I finally found it. My true weakness exposed. But where do i go from there? Should i try to fix things, or should i just accept them?

Personify your thoughts

Fuck it, im done. Its time to make them pay. All of them. You know, all i ever wanted was a normal life, i wanted to graduate, get a job, a house, a family. Its all i wanted. BUT NO. thats not why im here. I see that now. Its time i go back. I dont belong here, i never have. The only reason im here is because i was too weak to resist my parents bringing me here when i was a kid. I need to go inside that cave. Its always been there, pulling me in, taking everything i've ever wanted, everything i've ever loved. This life, the life im living--FUCK! i can do better i know i can..i just need some time..i wanna go back to school, i mean i know i have no one but i can live a normal life right? --This world is not for yme. You have to make them see.--imagine me at prom--imagine yourself above all--but i want to be human, i want to love someone--THAT IS NOT WHY YOU'RE HERE! why is this so hard for you too see? Look at yourself in the mirror and tell me! do you honestly think this pathetic normal life is for someone like you?--no..but i can try..i know im not perfect, and i know im at a disadvantage, but i dont want to change this world..i just want to be a part of it..--THATS NOT THE FUCKING POINT! have you forgotten everything? are you going to ignore your fate and purpose just so you can fit in?! what has happened to you?--idk, i just..i just want to be someone--AND YOU CAN! imagine yourself if you go back! you will control everything!--fine. ill do it...ill go back and ill show the world..ill show them what they created...