Last Chapters or Final Solution

In every book or movie i've read, there are specific parts in the story that the main character goes through. At first everything's normal, the character doesnt question anything. The antagonist comes along and disrupts the balance. Main character fights valiantly and succeeds, but its a short victory. Somehow he/she did something wrong and thats when things fall apart. He/she is near death but a revelation motivates them to stand against the injustice and again, they triumph over their challenger. Then the last chapters follow. They give the main character some time to reflect back on their progress and foreshadow the balanced future. The final solution appears. The book is over. The movie has ended. My life is at its end.

How to change your life

My life was great when i was a kid. Then overtime it just started to fall apart. I never really thought about it, i told myself this was just how life worked. I was wrong. I've stayed up countless nightstrying to reason the cause of my suffering. What did i do to deserve this? Where did i go wrong? Why me? I was so desperate for change that i threw myself at spirituality. I wanted to know my purpose, i wanted knowledge and wisdom. I went from catholism to christianity. buddhism to wicca then chaos magic soon followed. I wanted power. If i was not blessed with what i thought i needed to succeed in life, then i would find something to replace it with. But i was wrong. A few years ago, maybe even months ago, i would hear what im about to say and call it bullshit, but i've not only seen it, i have experienced it. Trust in God. Thats all it takes. My life started falling apart when i realized i had to trust my parents to raise me, to trust my family to give me a home, to trust my fellow humans to give me a world. As you grow, you forget your past. You're told to forget your past. It's a big burden, but its one you should accept and carry. Dont forget where you come from and what you've been through. Never relive, never forget.

Using hate to your advantage

I have more enemies. Its not a bad thing, their hate is simply malevolent energy. I seeem to thrive in that energy. I tricked them into destroying my barriers, which hold back most of my power. Now its simply a matter of adjusting to their strength.

I wanted to fit in, but fitting in is hard for me and now that i think about it, its not really something i should try to achieve. Sure it gives you great cover and stable emotions, but it also weakens you over time. You forget who you are and you start to mock your environment. You worry less and you're more positive, but you become more vulnerable to the darker side. So i guess its better to stand out, to be away from common influences and to develop your own reality. Its a hard path, but I'm willing to stick to it. I've learned that i'm much more comfortable this way. Its a native state of mind for me, so i have the upperhand.

Just another lesson. Work with what you've got.