How the common man lives

Quotations "You are born, and then you die. Between those moments you can do whatever the fuck you want. Between those moments you can do whatever the fuck you want. It doesn't matter in any way what you do or how you do it, if you live your life like a drug addict, if you live your life like bill gates, like albert einstein, doesn't matter cause you're dead in the end and even if you become a legend on earth, you won't be there to experience it. So.. just do whatever makes you happy, you only live once, so you better do it." - Some guy on /adv/


well there you go.

is this real life? lol

I cant decide. I have dreams. Human dreams. Theres so much I still want to see, but we all want things, and sometimes what we want isnt what we need. But what if im wrong? The thing is..im replaceable. Its the one thing i know for sure. Its been proven countless times. Theres nothing special about me, other than the BS that I come up with. I know there will always be someone whos smarter or stronger or w/e but I just cant ignore the truth that is thrown at my face every single day. Im average. Everything about me is average. Ive accepted that fact but I still feel the same..its not hopelessness, i know i can be successful if i try its just...is it envy? boredom? Its just the same thing every single fucking day..I want to be able to run my life. ME, not other people. I want to make decisions for myself; I dont want them made by some person i dont even know. Its pissing me off. I cant decide. The afterlife is so tempting...so close and yet..so far away. Is it the mystery of it all? the thrill? or am i just using it as a way to escape my reality? and why shouldnt I? Do i not have the right to be happy? Why stay here if i dont like it? I cant decide.

Purpose

Its become clear what i need to do, but part of me wants something different...something "normal". Its not allowed. Did i abandon them? Im not sure..but i know i did and im starting to regret it...i cant believe i ignored them. I wasted almost 8 years...now theres not much time left...but i can handle it. I know i can. For once, it all makes sense. Its time.