I have more enemies. Its not a bad thing, their hate is simply malevolent energy. I seeem to thrive in that energy. I tricked them into destroying my barriers, which hold back most of my power. Now its simply a matter of adjusting to their strength.
I wanted to fit in, but fitting in is hard for me and now that i think about it, its not really something i should try to achieve. Sure it gives you great cover and stable emotions, but it also weakens you over time. You forget who you are and you start to mock your environment. You worry less and you're more positive, but you become more vulnerable to the darker side. So i guess its better to stand out, to be away from common influences and to develop your own reality. Its a hard path, but I'm willing to stick to it. I've learned that i'm much more comfortable this way. Its a native state of mind for me, so i have the upperhand.
Just another lesson. Work with what you've got.
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