Too much of anything is bad for you

Its repetition. I cant stand it. I want change, constant change. Nothing drastic, just something new now and then. This explains so much. If my mind keeps doing the same thing over and over, i lose control. When i lose control, i become desperate, and when that happens i go into self-destruction mode. Doing everything and anything just to seek a shift in my reality. Skipping school, making up stories, saying random things to random people, running away, changing beliefs...everything i've done and said was just a desperate attempt at a new life. A more exciting life. I finally found it. My true weakness exposed. But where do i go from there? Should i try to fix things, or should i just accept them?